Saturday, May 2, 2009

with sympathy

Morning friends. This has been a rough week for some of the people that I care about. I have to make four sympathy cards. Well...really I'm going to make seven total but I'm not sure I will show you all of them. Anyway, today I have two that I'm going to show you.

When I was in 3rd grade my family and I moved to a house just outside the Milton/Edgerton WI area. The house sat at the front of a rather large out in the country cul-de-sac and just behind and off to the right a little sat a house that I was soon to become familiar with. The Cameron's lived there. My mom and Pat "met" the day my mom sent me to the Cameron's house to borrow a cup of sugar (true story). My mom and dad and the Cameron's became fast friends. Interestingly when my grandmother was (my mom's mom) sick, Pat's mother was ill at the same time. I remember babysitting for Scott, Julie, and Kelli when I was a teenager. Although I had grown apart from the Cameron's over my adult years Kelli and I had recently begun to connect again and it has been amazing to get to know her again. Anyway, all this to tell you that Steve, the head of the Cameron family, died suddenly on Thursday. So, the card on the right will go to Pat. I will also be making separate cards for the kids but am not rushing right now as the visitation is today and funeral tomorrow so I can't get them there before those events. I'll get them out next week for sure though. If you care to know about Steve I have a link to his obituary HERE.

The card to the left will be heading to a woman at my church whose 32 year old granddaughter died of a brain aneurysm last weekend. Marcy left behind a husband and four beautiful girls (13, 9 and 3 year old twins). I had just talked with Marcy a couple of weeks ago and honestly was just shocked when I heard the news. If you'd like to know more about her you can see her obituary HERE.

While I know this post is already a little long I just want to mention a book that I have here at home. It is called What to Say. 52 Positive Ways to Show Christian Sympathy to Those Who Grieve. Why mention this book? Because, every time there is loss of some sort in my life a certain person in my life says something that may seem comforting but in reality is "bad form" if you will. Upon initial contact with the grieving person the best thing you can say is simply..."I'm so sorry for your loss"...then if you would like,"would it be okay if I give you a hug?". That is it...nothing else is needed at that time. You can tell them "I'll just be over here for a while." If they want to talk with you...they will and it is at that time that you need to sit and listen. Say nothing. Listen. Listen to "the story" again and again. Now...say these three phrases again and again until they are committed to your heart. Ready?

Hug them, hang around, hush!
Hug them,_____ around, hush!
Hug them, ____around, ___!
Commit them to memory:
____ them, ____around, ____!

I really hope that someone will get something from this part of my post. These tips for the initial contact are really right on center. The book I mentioned above has 52 ways to show you care and has been an invaluable resource for me. I hope you will take a look at it.

So, I'm sorry for the mostly sad post today but you get my posts as my life goes and sometimes sorrow comes in waves...just like happiness. Take some time to hug your loved ones today!

14 comments that make my day!:

Sarah {SCS: Sairabee} said...

It's crazy how many people have passed lately. :( And that just breaks my heart about the woman with the four girls. I can't even imagine. Your cards are beautiful. I especially like the butterfly one.

Chris said...

These cards will mean a lot, and just from your thoughtfulness of the post I can tell that they will feel your love.

Both are great cards - I think the second is my favorite too.

bsgstamps4fun: Barb Gault said...

Your cards are lovely and will bless those who mourn. Thank you for your words and advice on what not to say as well as what to say. I think knowing what to say is the hardest part for me. I am sorry for the loss of your dear friends and may God comfort you as you comfort them.
Hugs!

Diane said...

I'm so sorry for the loss of your loved ones Lorie. Life isn't always easy.
Thanks for sharing the part on what to say,it is always so hard .
But I'm sure they will appreciate your lovely cards.
Thinking of you,Diane

Linda Beeson said...

I really like your cards although I am sorry for the reasons you created them for. I appreciated you mentioning that book, etc. It seems impossible sometimes to know what to say to someone who is hurting and we often we just avoid them which doesn't help anyone.

Kristine B. said...

Beautiful cards and I'm so sorry for the losses that have had such an impact on you lately. I'm sure your cards and words of comfort and love will touch them in a special way. ♥

sari said...

such beutifull cards you have made lorie! They are blessed to have you! It's allways chocking when someone you know passes away, no mater the age... Great tip with book! lots of hugs to you and your family!

Bev said...

So sorry to hear of your sad news. I will keep everyone in my thoughts.

Sparkle said...

Your cards are lovely. I'm sure they'll appreciate them dearly.

Emily said...

These are beautiful Lorie! Great sympathy cards! I'm sure they will be very much appreciated!

Anonymous said...

I was sorry to read about all of your recent losses. Your cards are beautiful and I'm sure will be appreciated by the families. I'm praying for the families and you during this difficult time.

Korin said...

I am so sorry for the loss of these special people and I will keep you and all of their families in my prayers. Your cards are lovely and the info you shared is wonderful. thank you for taking the time to share with us.

Big hugs,
Korin

Dani said...

These are both gorgeous and will be treasured. Wonderful job!

Kerry D-C said...

Aaaack! it's been too long since I have been able to spend time blog hopping. I miss it. I miss you! These sympathy cards are beautiful and will bring comfort to the receivers. Less words is definitely more! xoxoxox